i think our wandering spirits and hearts have finally found a church family! when we moved to colorado almost a year ago (okay, that's weird), we were exciting to build a life in community. but when friendships didn't bloom and people weren't interested in getting to know us, i got discouraged. i mean big time. this is when i fought depression hardcore. all my fears became real. so i withdrew. i literally told aaron "why would i make friends if i hate this place?" (no drama there, i really did hate it). then, we moved! and i was stoked! and i thought "we'll make friends all day long, la la la". and guess what? there weren't friends waiting on my doorstep. there weren't friends at the grocery store, or starbucks, or even the donut shop (which there should always be friends there). so, i was alone (or at least i felt that way). we were attending church at the summit on and off, and to be honest hadn't made a real effort to meet anybody. i even was signed up for a women's retreat and chose to work instead of go (i am LAME). then, we took an intro class at our church for people who want to become members. and met with a pastor. and went to a city group. AND MADE FRIENDS. you guys, i gave my phone number out like it was candy! and people wanted it! it was awesome. what i realized in city groups last night was huge. we're going through a book called When The Church Was A Family by Joseph Hellerman and man, was it uncomfortable. basically, he says that we are called to love our church family more than our biological families. that our priority is to our church family rather than our natural family. (okay, who else feels weird?) and it just clicked.
i wasn't making friends because i wasn't seeking a family.
i didn't want to be vulnerable. i didn't want to be honest and broken in front of people i barely know.
then, our group leader said something.
if christ is all that unites us, we're a family. we don't need anything else.
mind.
blown.
i don't know why that simple truth rung so loudly in my ears. duh, if we have christ, we don't need anything else. but for some reason, that just didn't seem like it would apply to people.
don't get me wrong, i am still wrestling and uncomfortable with the idea of putting my church family before my natural family. and maybe it's because i have such an awesome family. it's also because i was taught the following priorities.
1. God
2. Family
3. Church
4. Others
i was always taught that God came first, then my spouse, then my child, then ministry. that my family was my first ministry. and i guess to some extent it is. but what i hadn't thought about was how God and his people are connected and should be considered as such. these are not two separate entities; rather, God is in His people. there should not be such a sharp distinction between the two. so really, our priorities should look like this:
1. God's family
2. My family
3. Others
it's going to get some getting used to, but i am excited to see how God grows me in this area.
again, WE MADE FRIENDS. (also, i'm a loser).
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