AMERICAN BLOGGER

photo: American Blogger

last night i finished watching the documentary american blogger. i have been following casey wiegand for a while now and have always loved the way she has been open, genuine and honest. i was eager to watch the documentary and as soon as i began it, i knew i was not going to want it to end. seeing all these women tell their story, sharing why they share, why they love blogging has encouraged me in so many ways. i honestly feel like i know all of them personally! i know there has been some major criticism surrounding the film, and i have read many a blogger defend the film. i am truly honored to be a part of a community of love and support. sure, sometimes we are fake. sometimes, we take pictures and move our dirty dishes and laundry out of the way so as to get the "perfect" shot. we definitely give off the appearance of "perfection" sometimes. but i can truly say, most (if not all) of the women in the film have shared about some struggle (or two or ten) on their blogs.

i have read stories of great joy, of new babies, of moving across the country. i've read about the grief and loss in having a miscarriage, of battles with cancer, of struggles in being a mother and a wife. and through it all, i somehow deemed their stories more important than mine. and i based it on how many people i was reaching vs. them. how can my story be as important if no one is reading it? 

after watching the documentary, my perspective has changed. for years, i have yearned to be a blogger. seeing all those around me that i admire, i have been encouraged to be that to others. i have probably started a million blogs, but have never followed through with them. it was hard for me to find my voice. it was hard for me to be real enough that i could intrigue people, but surface enough that i still had some privacy to my life.

but after i finished watching american blogger, i realized something:

blogs are not people. people are people.

all of the bloggers featured (and more) each have purpose outside of blogging. blogging is not my end all, be all, and it shouldn't be.

this all has led me to this conclusion: i am not my blog. readership doesn't define my worth. how many people follow me does not dictate how important what i post is. while i would love for people to read my story, i honestly yearn for the community that would come with it. i see the friendships and relationships that are generated from blogging, and i want that. leave the blog, give me the people. 

and so i have resolved and decided that i will no longer blog with a number or goal in mind. i will blog with my whole heart because i want to remember this time in my life. i want my story out there for the world to see. i want to meet people who i can learn from and share my life with. my story is important and that is only because of my sweet savior jesus.