LIFE IS TOUGH BUT SO ARE YOU

no source...pinterest strikes again :(

i titled this post "life is tough but so are you" after a little low card i saw on instagram yesterday. and boy, did this encouragement come at the right time. yesterday was a hard day. it seemed like every hour (or every minute rather) brought trials and disappointments. and while these trials and disappointments are petty and little compared to the actual hurts and challenges people are going through, they were very real to me. first, a printing order i received wasn't printed correctly. then, the boxes i ordered for my shop were the wrong size. the stickers i tried to make for my packaging were misaligned, and the new paint pen i bought for my wood slices splattered all over the place. oh, not to mention i got a voicemail from the company i interviewed with that i didn't get the job. that was the kicker. i started zoning out and crying (at the same time, i guess) just looking through instagram at all the beautiful talent i follow. thoughts of self-doubt and not being good enough crept into my head. "why can't i draw like her?" "oh my goodness that's so cute! wish i could do that." "oh man, i could never do that. i'm so not capable." and on and on and on. then i was like okay i have to rebrand this and that and spend thousands of dollars to sell like this person and that person. my comparisons against women i don't even know but admire were off the charts. like for real, i was going nuts. so, i ordered pizza and watched a movie with my man and pup and tried to forget it all.

typically, i'm the type of person that needs to sleep on things in order to get over them. have a fight with aaron, go to bed mad, wake up happy as a clam. it's just the way i function and work through things. so it was no surprise to wake up feeling great and clear headed. i'm still wondering why i didn't get the job, but know it's God's will that i didn't. there's a lot of things i was wondering about that i've suddenly had revelations about. why do i do custom invite orders and take on the task of printing them when i don't get the return for my work and i don't have the right resources? why don't i take a leap of faith and work with someone to get my brand stronger? well. today, i have the answers to those questions. praise God i didn't get the job because while the extra money would've been nice, my passion is creating and homemaking. i still get thoughts in my head like, "why did you waste four years of your life in school to study and train for a career you probably will never have? you were made for more." but what really was i made for? i ultimately was made to worship the Creator, to live in His presence, to honor and glorify Him with all that i am and all that my life is. and let me tell ya, i can definitely do that creating and homemaking. i can create items to donate for causes like adoption or helping a family that's lost a child. i can cook and clean and fill my home with flowers and candles so that my husband has a relaxing environment to come home to. i can strive and push myself to be better and do better with the talents God has given me.

but why do i continue to think i'm not doing enough?

i think a large part of this has to do with the world. with family, friends, peers, media. with the constant idea that to be a strong woman you must work hard and provide for your family. with the pressure that you're "wasting your life" if you don't have a 9-5 and make a living.

but can i tell you something?

this not having a "job" thing has helped to reinforce my priorities.

i'm all about kingdom work. you know, the work that uplifts and encourages and loves. the work that makes people feel good, but not for superficial reasons. kingdom work is work that draws others to the Savior of the world. if i have the opportunity to not have a "job", but to work for the kingdom, i'm sure going to take it.

so here's to being confident in God given abilities, to loving harder than i ever have, and to working with all that's within me.