MARCH FAVES

one//two//three//four//five//six

i am absolutely loving the rain we are getting in CA today. it has pretty much been pouring all day. i can't even remember the last time it has rained like this. makes me dream of winters in colorado (which is FIVE DAYS AWAY!!!!) so here i am, sitting on the couch with pantsy (aka charlie) with the slider open listening to the rain and watching the following (fave new show? um, yes.) oh, and dreaming of when all our things aren't packed away in boxes. and also, wanting all my march faves. and anticipating sunday (helllloooo first anniversary!) happy march!

ONE WEEK

yesterday marked one week until we move to colorado. i can't even put into words what i am feeling right now: excitement, joy, anxiety, fear, insecurity, hope...the list goes on and on. after finding out that our house is still not ready for move in and that the management company we've decided to go with could be a little sketch, my emotions have been nuts. i talked to the agent we worked with when we were viewing houses, and she explained this whole crazy story about how her boss has been firing people left and right and how she is unethical at times and just a whole mess of things that riddled my bones with fear and anxiety (like for real, my core was shaken). and don't get me started on how ridiculously SAD i am. i thought my excitement would overshadow the holes that would be left by so many people. we said goodbye to our church on sunday, goodbye to our community group last night and have to say goodbye to family this weekend. it is honestly too much. my heart feels like it's about to burst at the seams. but then, i heard my precious Jesus, and the words He whispered to my heart: you are mine, I am faithful, I am doing something. my sweet, sweet husband reminded me: this is our mission field. we're being called out. God has something for us.

and you know what?

my fear just melted.

it's gone. gone is the insecurity, the fear, the anxiety (well, almost). and what has replaced it is His promise, His faithfulness, His sureness (which i don't think is a real word, but whatever).

as i write this, the song "oceans" by hillsong came on my pandora. i can't help to think about the words in this beautiful song. the words that promise we will be taken further than we have ever gone, that God is leading us, that when oceans rise, my soul WILL rest in His embrace, because I am His.

God has something good coming. no, something great coming. i don't know what. and i've been living long enough to know the trials that come with the good. but we are ready. we will be in deeper waters. but praise Jesus, His grace abounds there.

INSPIRE

i'm just going to leave this right here. i need to practice this more. i have not been very good at this this week. but honestly...finding the balance between righteous anger and building up those who (seemingly) don't deserve it is way harder than i have ever experienced, especially because those people who don't deserve it should be the ones who are safe, who encourage, who build up, who love.

MADE TO CRAVE

about 2 weeks ago, i started reading a 21 day devotional called "Made to Crave". the topic is centered around dieting, food, and the seemingly all eternal struggle with weight. today, i read this. and it put things into perspective for me.

"it can be so tempting to quit the health struggle entirely and pretend it doesn't really matter spiritually. but it does matter and not just for the physical or emotional setbacks. it's the denial of a fundamental spiritual truth. [...] today, your heavenly Father is telling you the same truth: 'you were made for more!' more than this failure...more than this cycle of defeat...more than being ruled by taste buds, body image, rationalizations, guilt, and shame. you were made for victory."

eph. 1:18-19 says: "i pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which [God] has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe."

we need to remember the truth of who we are and the power to live out that truth. we were made for more.


we were made for victory.

ANXIETY

this verse has become my saving grace this weekend. anxiety attacks are never any fun, especially when they involve family. family that should love and encourage and build up. the encounter i had this weekend did not. i thank God for my husband and for my family, that they do encourage and love. i can only pray and hope for change that only God can do.

LOVE DAY

source

today is valentine's day. and i love this day. i don't love fights that happen the night before this day. but i do love the grace and forgiveness that comes with a refreshed mind and soul in the morning. i don't love lingering grudges, but the heart that speaks the words, "it's okay, you are loved". i don't love the lasting impressions words leave, but i do admire the actions that do speak louder than words. this day, and all my days, i will forever choose my husband, my best friend, the one i adventure with, the one i am moving forward with, the one i love.