CALIFORNIA LOVE

on monday, we got back from our 11 day vacation to california. i honestly have never had so much fun with my friends. we were out there to celebrate our friends' jessica and rick's wedding (which was gorgeous!!!). the first weekend we were there, i went to palm springs for the bachelorette party, and let me tell you, these girls know how to have fun! i have never laughed so hard, and it wasn't until this week that i fully regained my voice. the next week was visiting family, friends, and wedding festivities. while it was so great to be back in california, aaron and i truly treasured coming back to colorado. we still feel as though God will bring us back to southern california, but the quiet and stillness of being back home, somewhere that is ours, brought a contentment i haven't felt since moving here. there's only one place that could come from, and i am grateful that He holds my heart.

this morning, i read something from my all sons & daughters devotional that reinforced this contentment:

"we must reach for HIM as the cloak we wear, shielding ourselves from doubt or pessimism or fear or anxiety or wounding. we must receive HIM as the fuel that steadies our hands as we serve, strengthens our legs as we run, sharpens our minds as we speak, and satisfies our hearts till all things are made right.

i'll just let that sit right here.

HAPPY MAMA'S DAY

happy mama's day to this beauty. she constantly inspires me, loves on me and points me towards Jesus. i would not be who i am without her. she's my best friend and the best mom out there. xoxo mom.

LIFE IS TOUGH BUT SO ARE YOU

no source...pinterest strikes again :(

i titled this post "life is tough but so are you" after a little low card i saw on instagram yesterday. and boy, did this encouragement come at the right time. yesterday was a hard day. it seemed like every hour (or every minute rather) brought trials and disappointments. and while these trials and disappointments are petty and little compared to the actual hurts and challenges people are going through, they were very real to me. first, a printing order i received wasn't printed correctly. then, the boxes i ordered for my shop were the wrong size. the stickers i tried to make for my packaging were misaligned, and the new paint pen i bought for my wood slices splattered all over the place. oh, not to mention i got a voicemail from the company i interviewed with that i didn't get the job. that was the kicker. i started zoning out and crying (at the same time, i guess) just looking through instagram at all the beautiful talent i follow. thoughts of self-doubt and not being good enough crept into my head. "why can't i draw like her?" "oh my goodness that's so cute! wish i could do that." "oh man, i could never do that. i'm so not capable." and on and on and on. then i was like okay i have to rebrand this and that and spend thousands of dollars to sell like this person and that person. my comparisons against women i don't even know but admire were off the charts. like for real, i was going nuts. so, i ordered pizza and watched a movie with my man and pup and tried to forget it all.

typically, i'm the type of person that needs to sleep on things in order to get over them. have a fight with aaron, go to bed mad, wake up happy as a clam. it's just the way i function and work through things. so it was no surprise to wake up feeling great and clear headed. i'm still wondering why i didn't get the job, but know it's God's will that i didn't. there's a lot of things i was wondering about that i've suddenly had revelations about. why do i do custom invite orders and take on the task of printing them when i don't get the return for my work and i don't have the right resources? why don't i take a leap of faith and work with someone to get my brand stronger? well. today, i have the answers to those questions. praise God i didn't get the job because while the extra money would've been nice, my passion is creating and homemaking. i still get thoughts in my head like, "why did you waste four years of your life in school to study and train for a career you probably will never have? you were made for more." but what really was i made for? i ultimately was made to worship the Creator, to live in His presence, to honor and glorify Him with all that i am and all that my life is. and let me tell ya, i can definitely do that creating and homemaking. i can create items to donate for causes like adoption or helping a family that's lost a child. i can cook and clean and fill my home with flowers and candles so that my husband has a relaxing environment to come home to. i can strive and push myself to be better and do better with the talents God has given me.

but why do i continue to think i'm not doing enough?

i think a large part of this has to do with the world. with family, friends, peers, media. with the constant idea that to be a strong woman you must work hard and provide for your family. with the pressure that you're "wasting your life" if you don't have a 9-5 and make a living.

but can i tell you something?

this not having a "job" thing has helped to reinforce my priorities.

i'm all about kingdom work. you know, the work that uplifts and encourages and loves. the work that makes people feel good, but not for superficial reasons. kingdom work is work that draws others to the Savior of the world. if i have the opportunity to not have a "job", but to work for the kingdom, i'm sure going to take it.

so here's to being confident in God given abilities, to loving harder than i ever have, and to working with all that's within me.

CHANGES

as i write this, i am about an hour away from a job interview. when aaron and i got married, we decided that since i was finishing school and opening an etsy shop, and since aaron's salary more than provided a comfortable lifestyle for us, that i didn't need to have a job. after we got married, i quit my (almost) full time job, finished my degree, and opened my etsy shop. around september (about 6 months after i quit my job), i found myself bored to tears. i didn't know what to do with my time, and i felt so unproductive. that's probably because i spent my days lying on the couch, watching grey's anatomy (again) with my dog charlie, but that's besides the point. i saw that one of my favorite bloggers oh, hello friend was hiring shop girls at her fullerton location, so i decided to go for it. i got the job, and while i finally had something to do, it was (very) part time and we had made the decision to move to colorado just a few months later. once we made the move, aaron and i decided it would be best and healthy for me to find a job because 1) i've been battling sadness and missing california, 2) we could save mucho dinero, and 3) i need something to do! (don't get me wrong, i've loved locking myself in our office creating all day, but i need some interaction, people!)

so fast forward to last week, where i received an email for an interview with a company that i had applied with a month ago. it is for a buyer position at a local e-commerce company, and it's full time (eeek!). i don't have ANY buyer experience whatsoever, but i consider myself very teachable and capable. so we'll see where this goes! i've gone back and forth on whether or not i should accept the position (if it's offered) since 1) we don't NEED the money and 2) i've been incredibly busy with the shop (also, i really like numbering my points i guess!). but i decided, with aaron's help, that if i'm offered the job, i'm going to take it. i'm going to take it because i need a challenge, because God has gifted me with abilities and capabilities that i can employ and use at this new job, because i am made for more than just lying on the couch all day. i owe it to myself, who worked extremely hard in school, to my husband, who supports me NO. MATTER. WHAT (for real, he supported me when i was in my couch potato funk), and to my family who put me through school.

so here goes nothing! i'll update here after the interview today. oh, and butterflies are going crazy over here.

also, the picture above is from my birthday at the colorado national monument and has nothing to with this post whatsoever. but whatever. i love my husband and this picture describes us perfectly.

ARTIST LOVE

i have been finding inspiration everywhere i look. so it would be no surprise that oana befort is my new crush. she is extremely talented, specifically in watercolor and acrylic work. i love how artistic she is, yet there is so much innocence and whimsy in her work. here's some of my favorite pieces she's ever done (all from her website):

also, i haven't been able to stop watching this video. so in love with the process and her talent!

CALLIGRAPHY, YO

this month i am resolving to pick up the pointed pen everyday. whether it's to doodle or to create something to sell, i am going to do it. last fall i took a beginner calligraphy class at oh, hello friend. my instructor was none other than the fabulous jenna rainey of mon voir. i immediately fell in love with the art of calligraphy. i've always had fun with hand lettering and have prided myself on my penmanship. i decided to use the wood slices from our wedding centerpieces to create some new stuff for my etsy shop. for it being my first try, i am pretty stoked on how it came out. of course, as time goes one and as i continue to practice, i look forward to defining my style and creating a stand out one in the pretty world of calligraphy.

below are some of the styles i am going nuts over:

one//two//three//four//five//six* 

(*unfortunately, pinterest failed me on the source)

MAY MUSINGS

here are some things i've been thinking about:

• BABIES!

• california

• how i want to do everything: design, paint, calligraphy, felt flowers (OBSESSED WITH THIS GIRL RIGHT HERE)

• how i know i can do anything, but not everything. this print is hanging above my TV & i stare at it everyday. such a great reminder.

• love this so much

• how much i love my husband

happy may! excited to go to california in 2 weeks and to celebrate the marriage of my dear friends jessica and rick!